Cheating.....
This is an article i came across about cheating and is a horrible reminder of whats going on around us and it also shows that God will soon put an end to all of it.......
Men:
Once we’ve seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace. It doesn’t matter if you have a nice body cause we become accustomed to your body and want to experience something different – different lips, different body types.
Whether it’s evolution, biology or simple novelty, infidelity researchers agree that men do seek different sex partners.
Maybe he married too young,” “or he just feels as if he hasn’t seen everything.”
When some time has passed, they get bored and long for new excitement from another.
They also get tired of their woman's nagging.
So when their partner is tired from wrangling kids all day and unwilling to try new things, even the most loyal hubbies get bored and go looking for nookie.
More sexually permissive men who don’t have equally adventurous partners are also more apt to wander.
It’s hard to resist temptation, especially when it’s at our fingertips.
Thanks to the Internet, it’s easier for men to cheat anytime, anywhere… while they’re watching TV or on the laptop in bed next to their sleeping wives.
Women:
Now when a woman feels dissatisfied in her relationship, she doesn’t just complain to her friends. She gets a private email account, posts a profile at one of the many dating sites and starts looking for hookups herself.
Accurate stats on women’s infidelity are understandably hard to come by since ladies aren’t always keen on ’fessing up to their extracurricular activities.
“Women tend to keep these things to themselves, but there are signs that they’re catching up with the guys.”
The easy answer is that women today have the same opportunities to cheat as guys always did
Not only do working women have the chance to mix and mingle with would-be lovers (both in the office and on business trips), but the Internet is filled with chat rooms and Web sites that blatantly court married men and women looking for a little something on the side.
When a woman feels like little more than a household drudge, attention from someone else becomes extremely seductive.
If there’s a failure to communicate – which is so reinforcing to women in terms of intimacy, emotional satisfaction and relationship satisfaction – then women look outside the relationship for that kind of connection,
When you’re unhappy or dissatisfied in your relationship, you’re more likely to be tempted to look elsewhere.”
When you start doing things separately, your odds of connecting with others who share your interests increase,
Woman seek the thrill of the chase and like the attention a new man will give her.
Women who have false illusions tend to end up cheating because they never really knew the guy to begin with... or hoped he would change,”
You can be in a relationship with a perfectly wonderful, loving man and still need extra affirmation that you’ve got it goin’ on.
Sleeping with someone else is an easy way to remind yourself that you’re desirable.
“Even if your partner is reassuring, for whatever reason, it’s not enough,” “and so you look elsewhere, so you can feel like you’re lovable.”
And when a woman catches her man with his hand in someone else’s cookie jar, she figures she’s got a right to a little indulgence of her own.
If a woman finds out her significant other has been cheating, she may heal those hurt feelings by having sex with another man,”
It's estimated that up to 55% of women and 60% of men cheat at some point during their marriages.
Note:
“Cheating is defined as anything that breaches a relationship contract.”
“That includes “sexy communication and flirting that’s kept secret from your partner.”
These things happen everyday throughout the world and the only way to stay clear of it all is to find someone who puts God first in their lives and is determined to stay on the right path. Also, by having God in your lives and together serving him, all the nagging and boredom won't be as big of an issue, cause God is your strength.
Remember, the devil likes cheaters and wants to see your downfalls, don't let him win.
A little tip.....Remember why you fell in love and always be thankful for everything you have.
Men:
Once we’ve seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace. It doesn’t matter if you have a nice body cause we become accustomed to your body and want to experience something different – different lips, different body types.
Whether it’s evolution, biology or simple novelty, infidelity researchers agree that men do seek different sex partners.
Maybe he married too young,” “or he just feels as if he hasn’t seen everything.”
When some time has passed, they get bored and long for new excitement from another.
They also get tired of their woman's nagging.
So when their partner is tired from wrangling kids all day and unwilling to try new things, even the most loyal hubbies get bored and go looking for nookie.
More sexually permissive men who don’t have equally adventurous partners are also more apt to wander.
It’s hard to resist temptation, especially when it’s at our fingertips.
Thanks to the Internet, it’s easier for men to cheat anytime, anywhere… while they’re watching TV or on the laptop in bed next to their sleeping wives.
Women:
Now when a woman feels dissatisfied in her relationship, she doesn’t just complain to her friends. She gets a private email account, posts a profile at one of the many dating sites and starts looking for hookups herself.
Accurate stats on women’s infidelity are understandably hard to come by since ladies aren’t always keen on ’fessing up to their extracurricular activities.
“Women tend to keep these things to themselves, but there are signs that they’re catching up with the guys.”
The easy answer is that women today have the same opportunities to cheat as guys always did
Not only do working women have the chance to mix and mingle with would-be lovers (both in the office and on business trips), but the Internet is filled with chat rooms and Web sites that blatantly court married men and women looking for a little something on the side.
When a woman feels like little more than a household drudge, attention from someone else becomes extremely seductive.
If there’s a failure to communicate – which is so reinforcing to women in terms of intimacy, emotional satisfaction and relationship satisfaction – then women look outside the relationship for that kind of connection,
When you’re unhappy or dissatisfied in your relationship, you’re more likely to be tempted to look elsewhere.”
When you start doing things separately, your odds of connecting with others who share your interests increase,
Woman seek the thrill of the chase and like the attention a new man will give her.
Women who have false illusions tend to end up cheating because they never really knew the guy to begin with... or hoped he would change,”
You can be in a relationship with a perfectly wonderful, loving man and still need extra affirmation that you’ve got it goin’ on.
Sleeping with someone else is an easy way to remind yourself that you’re desirable.
“Even if your partner is reassuring, for whatever reason, it’s not enough,” “and so you look elsewhere, so you can feel like you’re lovable.”
And when a woman catches her man with his hand in someone else’s cookie jar, she figures she’s got a right to a little indulgence of her own.
If a woman finds out her significant other has been cheating, she may heal those hurt feelings by having sex with another man,”
It's estimated that up to 55% of women and 60% of men cheat at some point during their marriages.
Note:
“Cheating is defined as anything that breaches a relationship contract.”
“That includes “sexy communication and flirting that’s kept secret from your partner.”
These things happen everyday throughout the world and the only way to stay clear of it all is to find someone who puts God first in their lives and is determined to stay on the right path. Also, by having God in your lives and together serving him, all the nagging and boredom won't be as big of an issue, cause God is your strength.
Remember, the devil likes cheaters and wants to see your downfalls, don't let him win.
A little tip.....Remember why you fell in love and always be thankful for everything you have.
How Harmful is Pornography?
Pornography corrupts the people who produce it as well as those that use it. It destroys relationships, demeans women, abuses children and engenders a perverted and harmful view of sex.
Users of pornography tell lies a lot. Since it is always better to keep pornographic materials from people who may question and be disappointed if they learn of our involvement, it results to lying.
It is so absorbing that the users could go on marathon sessions without an awareness of hunger. This could result to health breakdown.
Users of pornography develop sexually deviant tendencies and even deviant acts. Involvement in pornography can interfere with the ability to enjoy and participate in normal marriage intimacy.
As earlier alluded to, “Denial on the part of the male addict and refusal to confront the problem are typical and predictable, and this almost always result to marital or couple disharmony, sometimes divorce, and sometimes the breaking of other intimate relationships.”
Since pornography shapes attitudes and influences behavior and knowing that its messages are enticing primarily because they are fantasy and thus presented as more exciting than the real thing, the users set themselves up for unrealistic expectations resulting to damaged relationships.
Pornography destroys trust and openness which are essential ingredients for fruitful marriage relationship.
Pornography’s main harm is that it becomes an impediment for people seeking to have a relationship with God.
Pornography is idolatrous. People addicted to pornography put their sexual desire above God. They thus make an idol of it. [Exodus 20:3]
People who indulge in pornography cannot win in the fight to maintain purity and a clean moral standing before God.
As Stephen Hill and Nina Silver pointed out, “No matter how good a man thinks he is, his tacit approval of pornography makes him at best (insensitive) at worst misogynistic, toward the very persons he professes to care about.”; the wife, daughter, sister and mother.
For many teenagers, pornography has become their primary source of sexual education. And many of them have fallen into the false belief that since “Teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases like HIV/AIDS, are completely none existent in porn….that there are no adverse consequences to behaviors depicted in pornography.”
But research have shown that, “…exposure to pornography can also affect the natural development of a child’s brain.” And Dr. Judith Riesman, concluded from a research that, “Health-based neurological observations about the instinctual brain-imprinted response to pornographic sights and sounds indicates viewing pornography is a biologically significant event that overrides informed consent- and that is harmful to children’s (moldable) ‘plastic’ brains because it compromises their grasp of reality and thus their mental and physical health, their well-being and their pursuit of happiness.”
Sexual Revolution right before our eyes: LET’S FACE IT!
-by Ebere Samuel (from my book, 'The Mind, Sex and your Destiny')
There are facts we need to face and not kid ourselves or pretend that we are ‘super humans’ and so create the worst loophole for our downfall, through self deceit. It has been rightly said that blind minds are worse than blind eyes. At night, the speed of any automobile is not determined only by how sound the engine is but also by how well the driver can see. It depends on the state of the headlamp. No matter how good the engine of a car is, its movement at night will be frustrating if the lightening system is bad. And we live in a world full of darkness. No Christian can run faster than the level of illumination of the mind by the word of God. This is why accurate information is necessary for a successful spiritual battle. So we need to face these realities;
# 1. You are a target for sexual immorality
I still remember the information that there was a ‘hit list’ recovered from the car of a killer gang that killed a famous Pastor based in Lagos, Nigeria. According to the news the ‘hit list’ included names of prominent Pastors around the country especially those of them in Lagos, Nigeria. I tell you, if you are a child of God, zealous for Christ and His kingdom, in that same way, the devil has your name in his ‘hit list’. If you are a missionary, student or youth worker, Bible Study secretary, Pastor, Evangelist, Church Elder, Deacon, Child Evangelist, music minister or Para-church worker or into one form of ministry or the other, know this; the devil s after you. Just know that,
“The forces of evil have taken a contract on you….Satan is out to get you? Why? He wants to nullify your ministry because more than any others you bear on your shoulders the reputation of Christ. If you commit immorality, the enemy scores a strategic victory in his assault on that sacred reputation.”
The devil will want to cage your ministry, slow you down, distract you or even bring your work to disrepute through sexual immorality. You need to see every sexual temptation that comes your way from the light of this fact.
“The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self controlled so that you can pray.”[1Peter4:7 NIV].
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand..” [Ephessians6:12].
You need to prepare for battle in the time of peace.
#2. You are vulnerable to sexual immorality
Every one called by the name of the Lord, no matter the title you bear, is susceptible to sexual sin. The time of pretense from the fact that even Christians can fall into the sin of fornication, commit adultery, masturbate; engage in different forms of sexual sin, if they don’t watch it, has passed. Shamefully, there is enough evidence on ground to prove it.
We will be riding the horse of pride were we to deny our need of God’s grace to be able to keep winning the battle over sexual immorality. And we know that, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” [Proverbs16:18]
Imagine the Level of pride it will require to be able to deny, “..that sexual sin could overtake Samson or King David, some of the members of the Corinthian church, King Solomon and a host of modern day Christian leaders, but not us.” The rule is, “watch yourself or you also may be tempted.”[Galatians6:1], and “If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” [1Corinthians10:12]. This is not meant to intimidate us or make us live our lives in the consciousness of failure but to be weary of our enemy who, “prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” [1Peter5:8], and so remain connected to be able to humble ourselves, “… and then resist the devil..”
#3. We are fully responsible for our moral choices
When it comes to sexual sin it is so easy for some people to assume the mentality of a helpless sheep being pursued by a lion. Thus they forget that they belong to the order of the Lion of the tribe of Judah!
Many of us are guilty of this and so we present our frequent falling into one particular sexual sin or the other as if “someone tripped us or kicked our feet out from under us. It implies that moral collapse comes out of nowhere, that there is little or nothing we could have done to prevent what happened.” What a lie and dangerous self defense. “We do not fall into immorality. We walk into it. Indeed, sometimes we run headlong into it. We must realize from the beginning that immorality is a choice. It is not something that happens to people. It is something that people make happen. We may do everything in our power to achieve physical health, and prevent getting cancer, yet we can still get cancer. But this is not true of immorality. If we depend on our savior and take deliberate and ongoing steps to cultivate purity and avoid immorality, we can avoid it. It does not choose us. It’s either we choose it or we chose to avoid it. We must always take responsibility for our choices.”
And for those of us who are privileged to be involved in counseling services on various issues of life, we “…must take even greater responsibility for our choices concerning those we meet with for counseling or spiritual direction. Such people are particularly vulnerable and easily swayed. Our role involves an authority and power over their lives which must not be abused.
Even the secular counseling profession considers it the highest breach of ethics to enter into a romantic and/or sexual relationship with a client. Indeed sexual involvement with one who has come to seek emotional help or spiritual guidance should not only be considered fornication or adultery but it should be considered sexual abuse. Sexual activity that comes out of a ministry context is comparable to child abuse, where the supposedly mature and stable adult figure takes advantage of his or her authority and credibility to initiate or allow a sexual encounter with the immature and vulnerable. In such cases, the person in ministry is not the victim he or she is the victimizer. And it is all the worse because we are trusted representative of Christ to this person’s life.
There is a disturbing tendency in the church to blame the adulterous relationship of a male leader on the woman he becomes involved with. She is often automatically regarded as the seductress, with as much or more responsibility for what happened than the man. On the contrary, though the woman is also responsible, it is the partner in the position of authority that must be regarded as more responsible. Ministry is not just a task. It is a sacred trust. To misuse and violate that trust to achieve sexual conquest or even emotional dependence is a particularly deplorable behavior. Every time a Christian leader’s sexual sin is passed off as “an unfortunate indiscretion that came at a vulnerable point in his life, a responsibility is avoided or denied, and others are taught that one’s own emotional needs and inadequacies can somewhat justify immoral entanglement.”
Here is some knowledge that we need to be able to stand our ground these days.
7 Pillars of Purity
Bible reading, study and meditation
Fear of God – hatred for sin
Sincerity at the place of prayer
Fasting and prayer
Repentant heart
Self-control
Association with purity-minded Christian
12 Things to run away from
Pornographic books, sites and environment
Morally loose people
Discussion/chatting that involves sexually immoral words
Reading books that can inflame lust
Movies that are sexually arousing
Putting on see-through clothes/dressing that can expose your sensitive parts
Staying out late with someone of the opposite sex
Walking alone in the night if you are a lady
Careless and unguarded touching by the opposite sex
Looking intently at a lady’s sensitive parts or at the parts of the body of a man that can easily stimulate or inflame you with lust
Excessive display of attention. It can expose you to moral dangers
Getting physically involved much too soon and going too far
12 Attitudinal Mistakes to run from in a Relationship
Misinterpreting the attentions of the opposite sex
Putting up with too much in a relationship and hanging on too long
Insensitivity in reading danger signs in a relationship
Getting physically involved much too soon and going too far
Thinking that anything is better than being alone
Panicking over the scarcity of Christian men and so make wrong judgments
Thinking and talking too much about men
Afraid to share real feelings or express sincere opinions to men
Being too open, too vulnerable, too transparent by ladies
Too visually oriented by males
Difficulty expressing real feelings and fear to lose ‘manly’ image by showing too much emotion
Fear of lifetime commitment by men
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