There are questions that came up during a session (seminar) for young people and the convener or host brought it for people to share their views.
Her are the questions;
JUST SHARE IN THIS......... Some Questions came up in our last seminar.
1.Why do some sisters carry list of 4 or 5 names to a minister/counselor to pray for her to choose one? Cann't she recognise d 'bone of her bone' as Adam did in Gen 2v23-25? Why is she confused?
This was my submission and I call you, our reader to share your opinion:
1. These young sisters need help. We are talking about Christian girls here, so my perspective is that the shallowness spewing from several pulpits and Bible Study times, Conferences and so on, is not helping these young ones learn to develop the correct mindset for walking with God. So, at the point of trying to get married, it shows. Yes, many of them are confused. However, no one really has anyone to blame for his or her confusion. So, they need to learn to seek help from godly women and people who can show them the way before the question of marriage or who to marry comes up. Mentorship!
2. Yes, it is possible to court for that long. However, the question is, is it advisable or is it the best? Certainly, long courtship of that length of years should be avoided except when the reason(s) for that long stay or waiting lies squarely outside the control of the intending couple. It could be health, parental and so on. Ordinarily, it is advisable to wait till you are ready for marriage and when you find someone to marry, there is no need to elongate the courtship because the disadvantages are many. So, make it reasonably and acceptably long enough to avoid the negative sides of unnecessary long courtships.
3. During courtship, intending couples quarrel because they are human beings. So, I don't think we should see it as one demonic thing or try to use it to determine whether God is part of the relationship or not. If two people are sincere enough to want to commit their future to one another they will need to know that there will be some re-shaping on both sides and it is sometimes not as sweet as we would want it to be. This is why marriage is not for boys and girls. Courtship is certainly a good time to test the young man's maturity, his patience, sincerity of love and readiness to care and protect and so on. It is time for the sister to see through the man and decide that she is ready to submit to him at all times and so on. Trying to get our minds re-aligned into these, sometimes, comes with disagreements and yes, times of quarreling. However, what should be a sign that there is something wrong is when their is persistent bitterness, unforgiveness, clear and consistency in deceit or lying, and a great sense of fear or insecurity for the future of the intended marriage. When a time of courtship is bedeviled with consistency in quarreling without genuine reconciliation - no one accepts or takes responsibility and apologizes and seek forgiveness, bitterness and rubbing shoulders becomes the norm, then, my counsel will be, carefully negotiate your way out, but that should be after seeking counsel and help from a respected and truly godly person.
You may likely have insight into the questions discussed above. Yes, it is possible that your personal experiences may come handy to help several young people that read our Blog. Please, we request that you share your view. Let us have your comments. We consider these issues weighty enough, considering what is happening in our contemporary times. Thank you for sharing.
JUST SHARE IN THIS......... Some Questions came up in our last seminar.
1.Why do some sisters carry list of 4 or 5 names to a minister/counselor to pray for her to choose one? Cann't she recognise d 'bone of her bone' as Adam did in Gen 2v23-25? Why is she confused?
1. These young sisters need help. We are talking about Christian girls here, so my perspective is that the shallowness spewing from several pulpits and Bible Study times, Conferences and so on, is not helping these young ones learn to develop the correct mindset for walking with God. So, at the point of trying to get married, it shows. Yes, many of them are confused. However, no one really has anyone to blame for his or her confusion. So, they need to learn to seek help from godly women and people who can show them the way before the question of marriage or who to marry comes up. Mentorship!
2. Yes, it is possible to court for that long. However, the question is, is it advisable or is it the best? Certainly, long courtship of that length of years should be avoided except when the reason(s) for that long stay or waiting lies squarely outside the control of the intending couple. It could be health, parental and so on. Ordinarily, it is advisable to wait till you are ready for marriage and when you find someone to marry, there is no need to elongate the courtship because the disadvantages are many. So, make it reasonably and acceptably long enough to avoid the negative sides of unnecessary long courtships.
3. During courtship, intending couples quarrel because they are human beings. So, I don't think we should see it as one demonic thing or try to use it to determine whether God is part of the relationship or not. If two people are sincere enough to want to commit their future to one another they will need to know that there will be some re-shaping on both sides and it is sometimes not as sweet as we would want it to be. This is why marriage is not for boys and girls. Courtship is certainly a good time to test the young man's maturity, his patience, sincerity of love and readiness to care and protect and so on. It is time for the sister to see through the man and decide that she is ready to submit to him at all times and so on. Trying to get our minds re-aligned into these, sometimes, comes with disagreements and yes, times of quarreling. However, what should be a sign that there is something wrong is when their is persistent bitterness, unforgiveness, clear and consistency in deceit or lying, and a great sense of fear or insecurity for the future of the intended marriage. When a time of courtship is bedeviled with consistency in quarreling without genuine reconciliation - no one accepts or takes responsibility and apologizes and seek forgiveness, bitterness and rubbing shoulders becomes the norm, then, my counsel will be, carefully negotiate your way out, but that should be after seeking counsel and help from a respected and truly godly person.
You may likely have insight into the questions discussed above. Yes, it is possible that your personal experiences may come handy to help several young people that read our Blog. Please, we request that you share your view. Let us have your comments. We consider these issues weighty enough, considering what is happening in our contemporary times. Thank you for sharing.
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