Confessions of a Flirting Queen <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="full-post-img" style="border: 2px solid rgb(129, 132, 134); margin: 0px auto; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 3px; text-align: left; width: 510px;"> <a href="http://www.girldefined.com/confessions-flirting-queen" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: none; font-weight: bold; margin: 0pt; outline: none !important; padding: 0pt; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: black;"><img alt="Photo" height="357" src="http://www.girldefined.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Confessions.of_.a.Flirting.Pic_.jpg" style="border: none; margin: 0pt; outline: none !important; padding: 0pt;" width="510" /></span></a></div> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br style="text-align: justify;" /></span> <div align="center" style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"> <h1 class="entry-title" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> Confessions of a Flirting Queen</span></span></h1> </div> <div align="center" class="cuopon_author" style="border: 0pt none; font-weight: bold; margin: 6px 0pt 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> By: Bethany Baird</span></div> <div id="the_content" style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0px auto; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt; text-align: justify;"> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Where it all began.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I was in sixth grade and knew exactly how to work it. Every girl at church camp liked the same guy and I was determined to get his attention.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He was cute, popular and I wanted nothing less than for him to like me. I wasn’t interested in a relationship or anything serious because I was only 12 years old. I just liked the way I felt when I had his attention.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I clearly remember the situation. We were playing knock out (a basketball game) on the camp sports court. I made my shot and then went in to lure my prey. I ran over towards him with my flirty face ready to go and grabbed the green bandana from around his neck.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Was I cool or what?!? I now had “Mr. Popular Boy’s” bandana and we were in a steal and chase game. Naturally he started chasing after me trying to get his bandana back or to steal mine. He was laughing, I was smiling and life felt good.</span></div> <h1 dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <strong style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">I had his attention and the other girls were jealous. Major score!</span></strong></h1> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">That is until I left camp, made it home and needed more attention. Mr. Popular was gone and I was back at ground zero. Life was boring and I needed another boy to make me feel good.</span></div> <h1 dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <strong style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">The flirting continues.</span></strong></h1> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I wish I could tell you that my flirting started and stopped with me being 12 years old, but that’s just simply not true. My days of flirting really continued until I graduated from high school and started thinking seriously about guys and romance.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If I were left to myself I would most likely still be the “Flirting Queen.” Thankfully God didn’t leave me to myself. Due to the incredible insight and wisdom of my parents and close friends, I was finally able to see the truth about flirting.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’m definitely not perfect and continue to grow and learn every day, but I am grateful to say that I’ve come a long way in this area.</span></div> <h1 dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <strong style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Do you enjoy flirting?</span></strong></h1> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you (like me) are a “flirting queen” or just enjoy a good flirt here and there, this post is for you. Even if you’ve never flirted a day in your life keep reading.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As silly as that little story I just told sounds, it brings out a great point. Think this through with me. In my personal experience flirting typically has one person in mind – ME! I’m doing it to make ME feel good, to make ME look popular, to give ME something to brag about.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">When I think back on my flirting moments (which I am not proud of), I have to confess that each of one them was very self-focused. In the moment I was truly only concerned about one person, <em style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">me</strong></em>.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As embarrassing as this is to confess, <strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">I</strong> really did flirt because <strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">I</strong> liked what <strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">I</strong> got out of it. <strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">I</strong> liked the attention <strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">I</strong> got from guys and it was an easy way to give myself an ego boost. <strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">I</strong> enjoyed having guys “like” me and <strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">I</strong> liked have someone/something to think about as <strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">I</strong> fell asleep. *Wow! That’s a lot of <strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">I’s</strong>*.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">With that being said, I want to share with you my current take on flirting and why I’m no longer striving to be the flirting queen.</span></div> <h1 dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <strong style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here is a quick dictionary definition of the word flirting:</span></strong></h1> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">According to the Merriam-Webster, flirting is to:</span></div> <ul style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 39px;"> <li style="list-style: disc; margin-bottom: 6px; padding: 3px; position: relative; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">behave without serious intent.</span></li> <li style="list-style: disc; margin-bottom: 6px; padding: 3px; position: relative; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">to show superficial or casual interest or liking.</span></li> </ul> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The word is also synonymous with the word <em style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">trifle</em>, which means <em style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">something of little value.</em></span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Hmmm, according to that definition flirting doesn’t sound very thoughtful or loving. It sounds pretty…well…selfish. When I stop and evaluate flirting with that definition in mind, I realize how selfish my days of flirting really were. They were without serious intent and were totally superficial and casual.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I wasn’t concerned about building the guy up as my brother in Christ. I wasn’t concerned about his heart and protecting him. I wasn’t concerned about pointing his eyes towards Christ. Nope, not at all. I was truly only concerned about one thing, me.</span></div> <h1 dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <strong style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Giving up on the flirting game.</span></strong></h1> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As I thought through this topic, I kept coming back to one verse. It really clinched my heart. Check it out:</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <em style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).</em></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Yikes! My flirting has <em style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">always</em> been totally selfish. It’s not been with the<em style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"> guys</em> in mind but with <em style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">me</em> in mind.</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Now that I am a grown Christian woman who understands God’s Word and understands that I am a daughter of the King of the Universe, I can’t continue on in ignorance. That verse says to do <em style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><strong style="border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">nothing</strong></em>from selfish ambition. I’m pretty sure that “do nothing from selfish ambition” would include flirting.</span></div> <h1 dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <strong style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Why do you flirt?</span></strong></h1> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Okay, enough of my confessions and flirting stories. I want to focus on you. Ask yourself this simple question: why do you flirt?</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Be honest with yourself. Think back to a time when you have flirted and ask yourself why you did it. What’s going on in your mind and in your heart when you’ve flirted with a guy?</span></div> <ul style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 39px;"> <li style="list-style: disc; margin-bottom: 6px; padding: 3px; position: relative; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Was your goal to build him up in Christ or was it to pull his attention and affections towards you?</span></li> <li style="list-style: disc; margin-bottom: 6px; padding: 3px; position: relative; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Were you concerned about his feelings and his heart? Or, were you concerned about making yourself feel good?</span></li> <li style="list-style: disc; margin-bottom: 6px; padding: 3px; position: relative; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What happened when the flirting moment was over? Did you find lasting satisfaction from that moment?</span></li> <li style="list-style: disc; margin-bottom: 6px; padding: 3px; position: relative; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Can you honestly say that God was glorified from the different times you flirted?</span></li> <li style="list-style: disc; margin-bottom: 6px; padding: 3px; position: relative; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">How does Philippians 2:3-4 match up with your excuses for flirting?</span></li> </ul> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">Photo credit: www.flickr.com | ohwaitnvm</span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><br /></span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="padding: 0px 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0pt none; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;">Follow Ebere Samuel (@FAVORD) on Twitter</span></div> <div style="text-align: left;"> <span style="border: 0pt none; color: silver; margin: 0pt; outline: invert none 0pt; padding: 0pt;"><br /></span></div> <div dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; padding: 0px 29px;"> <a href="http://www.girldefined.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Confessions.of_.a.Flirting.Pic_.jpg" style="border: none; color: #509c83; font-weight: bold; margin: 0pt; outline: none !important; padding: 0pt; text-decoration: none;"></a></div> </div> </div> Confessions of a Flirting Queen Confessions of a Flirting Queen ... 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