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Amara
· Edited ·
This is Africa, a man spent hundreds of Naira to marry you and there you are wanting to protect your own rights. You are African and your husband is one of those raised to believe that the woman owns and controls the affairs of the kitchen. You knew these when you married him and suddenly you are fighting him for not trying to help out in the kitchen. I hear you madam human rights. If you fail to find out the best way to humbly and with respect, get your husband to help in the kitchen, get ready to carry placard to the UN building in New York.
We are Africans and the fact that you live in a different society doesn't make you one of them. Even my father in the village helps and sometimes cooks for us, but it's all for fun and because he loves my mum. My mum does not control him but she runs his head through submission. Madam, the easiest way to get your husband, not just to wash plates but to mop the whole house and do your laundry without machine, is through submission.
There are things you can't get or achieve through 'open eye' (ada awata na anya, achataakwa nkea na akwu (can't translate this jare) except you want chaos. You cannot be happily married if you believe so much in those human rights. For you to be married as an ardent follower of that thrash, you must be ready to subdue your man and turn him to a zombie.
Never forget this truth; none of those women who push for gender equality is happily married, they may seem happy, but they are not. They are more often than not, angry people. A woman who is loved by her husband and is happy in her home won't even know when the man steps on her toes. They push for those things because they are frustrated and have not really felt the power of love.
For you to achieve this "gender equality", for the world to be better, for marriages to be exciting, push more for people to go back to the original manual of the Creator. Teach men to be men and women to go back to being women. Anything short of this can only lead to frustration and suicide.
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    310 people like this.
  • Ebere Samuel
  • Ijeoma Ogbulie Eugene One thing I have never done is comment on an update that has anything to do with 'male bashing' or the 'female rights advocacy thingy' we sisters are doing these days! I grew up knowing that a man will always be different from a woman. Gender equality ...See More
    Like · Reply · 48 · 2 hrs
  • Nonye Okpala If you live abroad, you probably work as hard as your husband. Once in a while, and you shouldn't have to beg for this, your husband should help out a little around the house. I won't marry a man that thinks it's an abomination to help out around the h...See More
    Like · Reply · 13 · 3 hrs
  • Osagiede Andrew Osaro Good morning Amara!

    I guess the original manual of the creator is in genesis, where the bible made it clear that. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.    ...See More
    Like · Reply · 3 · 3 hrs
  • Chinyere Amanda Nwoko Kitchen has always been my best place because I 'chop all the chopables jare' hahaha. I don't even need anyone even though he insists. Why would a woman rub shoulders with her man, abeg, na foolishness. Gender equality my foot, they won't pursue things...See More
    Like · Reply · 24 · 3 hrs
  • Chika Mbadianya Is good to tell d hidden truth a times,this is one of d real truth cos all this women pushing for gender equality, many of them are not happy in their homes and a lot are out of d marriage already and they want everybody to end up like them.God forbid oooo
    Like · Reply · 11 · 3 hrs
  • Franklin Egbuche To a degree I agree with you Amara but it's limited, mostly based on your presentation towards the end. I agree that women pushing for equal rights should start at the foundation. 

    You want a dazzling wedding and a fantastic home etc and a man will fo    ...See More
    Like · Reply · 13 · 2 hrs · Edited
  • Tony Chibuzo (Paused a while) nne this words are what I can only describe as thunderbolt. for this words to come from your heart, I believe you were raised well. not becos am a man, but as someone who believe so much in the gift that God Almighty has placed in the ...See More
    Like · Reply · 6 · 2 hrs
  • Kate Okoli People should understand the concept of Marraige. Marraige is a relationship between two consenting adults. It should not be portrayed as some sort of draconian institution where a man is seen sitting on a high and mighty dictatorial chair with the wom...See More
    Like · Reply · 11 · 1 hr
  • EgbuNike Engraced EchezonaChukwum Gbam! ada ekwuchara ya onu....let men be men, and women, women
    Like · Reply · 5 · 3 hrs
  • Isabella Stephanie Casmir-Ubozor Thanks Amara. You a true woman. I once heard another woman describe another as 'onwere onu na di...' And still watched her marriage crash and the one she mocked still in her enviable home years after. Sisters,take cues from this lovely and brilliant woman. Happy to meet you hun,Amara.
    Like · Reply · 5 · 3 hrs
  • Anita Chinwe Herbert Am so loving this update,I have written something similar to this and some group of people who say they are "Gender Equality Advocates" almost ate me up. 
    Quote me anywhere,there is no woman (In Africa to be precise) who practices "gender equality"in h    ...See More
    Like · Reply · 8 · 2 hrs · Edited
  • FirstLady Ibiene Williams Women become unhappy when they try role-dragging with men...growing up I was all "he dare not do this and he shld do that"...now I knw beta; rightly said, submission will push the man to do those things en more u need him to without u aving to beg or nag. we are africans, and we'll stay africans else stay single woman... #I'mOut
    Like · Reply · 4 · 2 hrs
  • Ugochukwu Chikezie Amara may God bless you and your family.
    Like · Reply · 3 · 3 hrs
  • Ogbu Ugochukwu You were properly brought up within the context of Bible and culture which are the fundamentals .teach them pls
    Like · Reply · 3 · 3 hrs
  • Obi Alex Ndubuisi All these women saying 'tell them', na una she dey talk to o.
    Like · Reply · 4 · 3 hrs
  • Grace Alex Grace Tell them ooh,men only helps by submission fullstop
    Like · Reply · 3 · 3 hrs
  • Emmanuelo Ibekwe Amara ten gbozas for you........many proponents of gender equality are not happy in marriage,these women re pushing out their frustration and confusing others that re happily enjoying their union.
    Like · Reply · 3 · 4 hrs
  • Isaiah Zeep Okoh Amara is right.Submisive wives buy their husbands over with humility.Anyone in a long loving relationship(10 years plus)know that Love and respect for each other makes life easy.For the past 12 years,my wife never washed her clothes,but i do it natural...See More
    Like · Reply · 2 · 27 mins
  • Tweet Lucci Shugarlipz @ Ijeoma Ogbulie Eugene my darlyn,, dat lady in question must be a bag of gabbage.... Communication is one essential thing in marriage,, anyways I gues she has lot of bad advicers or she's prepared to live in hell...mtcheew!# ladies dis days watch too much of oyibo movies n copy the bad parts...
    Like · Reply · 3 · 33 mins
  • Ifeanyi Atasie Ife nine unu kwuru dicha nma,,,maka ndi igbo si na uche onye adighi ya njo. Onye o bula na ekwu ka osi wee ghota...nghota di n'iche n'iche. Ihe anyi biara bu itughari uche wee si na onu ibe anyi wee muta ihe. Amamihe di na ihe n'ile unu kwuru...ma onye...See More
    Like · Reply · 2 · 48 mins
  • Tweet Lucci Shugarlipz Yw Ijeoma Ogbulie Eugene,, now u see the reason y I was telling our friend dat day; DAT marriage isn't a walk in the park...some women just won't learn when to stop copying oyibo people.. Lol
    Like · Reply · 3 · 1 hr
  • Nkiruka Otamba I know a woman who is out of her marriage becos she doesn't know how to cook (all she does is go to the eatery, buy food and pour into the pot b4 her husband gets home)... don't expect ur husband to teach u when u get married, that's not the reason why he married u. if you are well trained, u'll definitely be happy in ur marriage.
    Like · Reply · 2 · 2 hrs
  • Emmanuella Nene Ajudua i know u will like this. d issue is fund my kitchen, pick d bills nd let me do d cooking nd b d general overseer. d bible is clear. i am a helpmate.QED.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 16 mins
  • Ifeanyi Atasie The word of God is not a parable so dont try to fathom out what God is trying to say...dnt try to figure out what his word could be likened to....what He said is what He meant...its not too high to understand. Mr man...love ur wife,she is weaker..help ...See More
    Like · Reply · 1 · 23 mins
  • Ifeanyi Atasie Wives...and you wives should submit to your husbands even as the church is submissive to christ who is the head...
    Like · Reply · 1 · 46 mins
  • Sunday Ejefobi Ezeukwu Amara u have read men like a novel.....no wonder u ever look younger everyday.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 1 hr
  • Aunty B Luqman The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Amara you are blessed.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 1 hr
  • Sandra Kelechi There is a way you juxtapose issues esp marriage that makes me Luv you the more.you try to tell us to be wise on some aspect and be foolish on some aspect which makes it………#someonehelpmecompleteitbiko#
    Like · Reply · 1 · 1 hr
  • Okonkwo Chinonyelum Lovelyn Very true my dear. Tried the other didn't work, then tried this worked. Submission is the key to control.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 1 hr
  • Tweet Lucci Shugarlipz @ ijeoma Ijeoma Ogbulie Eugene my super mum friend,,u are an epitome of beauty n strength... Kip shining!!@ amara u are always on point.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 2 hrs
  • Ike Ezeogu Beautiful, you are so sound, Amara. Nice one!
    Like · Reply · 1 · 2 hrs
  • George Chijioke Brown Great work from Amara.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 2 hrs
  • Engr Uzoma Mbara I so much love ths article. Thump up.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 2 hrs
  • Riverrose Ebi Corson Well spoken N right in place!!  it
    Like · Reply · 1 · 2 hrs
  • Paul Ezika Ada ndewo, ejighi igbo agwa ya onye ocha # kpom kwem!!
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Adaobi Okafor Orazulike See men very happy with this write up. Don't forget men be men. Unfortunately some men want to do less. I believe in old school jare. Take care of everybody without complaining while my man does his part providing. Except if u want to swap roles, believe me men will run away.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Blessed L. David You wear your name too well ABN. Good morning @Nonye, you completely missed her point and the spirit of the message.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Ndubuisi Felix God bless u
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Chioma Onyekwere Ukanacho Only submission can solve everytin
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Merciful Mercy God bless you ma. Love you loads for this insightful piece! "Odi ofele ana akwadebe" I keep telling them to go on with their Gender Equality Placards,"agbacha oso agu o mile"
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Amaka Amaonwu God bless you my big aunty Ammy, though i hardly comment but have never failed to read and go through the comments trends. I must confess, i am a secret learner and guess i'm learning faster oooo.
    Good morning Adadioramma and have a nice day.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Augustine Uzochukwu A Nwanne, nna gi muru gi; nne gi buru onye aka ebe! proponents of 'gender equality' are confused and frustrated people. Don't copy them please, to avoid onwu ike na onwu ihere!
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Chinaka Emmanuel Nice one , gender equality is the a policy introduced by demon to put choas to families, every African/Nigeria woman should shun that evil campaign of gender equality. even the bible says woman should submit to the husband and it even go further to give example of church and christ. Thanks Ms Amara for this post many of our ladies needs to be more enlightened on this issue because some are being carried away.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Ikechukwu Onyenekwe Well Done Ma! God Bless U!!!
    Like · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
  • Tonia Gabriel TELL THEM AMARA
    Like · Reply · 1 · 4 hrs
  • Tee Morgan I really don’t know why this is a problem in marriages. I am a mother with 4 kids. I work full time and run a business too. I have no cook, no nanny and no driver and my husband isn’t house trained. So yes I do all the cooking and cleaning and now my b...See More
    Like · Reply · 3 · 1 hr
  • Godfrey Chinyere Enwerem Man spent hundreds of naira to marry you doesn't make u a slave in the house.men in abroad know dat kitchen work or house work isn't only 4 women.the know what to do when their woman is busy doing some house work
    Like · Reply · 4 mins
  • Hembie Ashwe I learnt very early in life that the answer to a thousand & one questions is = "Be Led" 

    This is how I see it. A marriage is 100% + 100%. A man giving his 100% & a woman giving her 100%.    ...See More
    Like · Reply · 5 mins
  • Ede Cajethan Francis Xavier O my God,hm,i hate washing plate.although my mother knows the way to making me do that bC am the last born and am twenty years old,the worst thing i hate doing is washing cloth but i still do all these bc i love my mother.Can a woman make me do all this?
    Like · Reply · 7 mins
  • Emmanuel Uwazie Amara are you married? If not I think I do like to marry you. You are a wife material.
    Like · Reply · 14 mins
  • Ani Obinna D 1 dt pinches me most is dis chimamanda Adichie of a pesin..Gosh!dt lady gets unda my skin
    Like · Reply · 14 mins
  • Iyoyojie Adesua well I wish to have a man like my father that doesn't count all this as nothing. he goes to the market, turn the soup in the fridge and even washes his clothes even when my mum wants to.....everyone knows the kitchen belong to mum but he goes there to gist with her about work stuff and help with little things. God I don't want a man that his middle name is EGOCHI o
    Like · Reply · 21 mins
  • Initial Bea Agree to disagree this might work for some and not for the others.
    Like · Reply · 24 mins
  • Oyeleye John Olufemi this is a master piece Amara
    Like · Reply · 24 mins
  • Titus Chinedu Ugwu No matter how we polish this matter with soothing balm we have all failed and until womanhood becomes what God made them to be man and children are still marking time instead of upward striving to the LIGHT .Woman's activity in the home makes her queen and not in public places .I grew up to hear our elders say take that child to the mother he is sick once the mother touch him he will be healed ..why ? those our forefathers are close to Nature and know what God has deposited in a genuine woman of body and soul
    Like · Reply · 26 mins
  • Prisca Nwagu-Eriri You have said it all,submission is a treasured secret that can unlock deep intimacy in marriage.
    Like · Reply · 28 mins
  • Ikwuo Nnanna I wish all Nigerians will think this way
    Like · Reply · 31 mins
  • Omalicha Albert U have said it all ( dalu Nne oma)
    Like · Reply · 36 mins
  • Ibukun Ibk Ibukun I didn't make any mistake by liking this page I'm really gaining a lot here thanks aunt Amara.
    Like · Reply · 44 mins
  • Chinyere Iroanya Uzoukwu Dear Amara, you are just too much. A woman once told me that wherever you hear a woman is using juju on her husband, then she must be doing the right things. And because the man is pleased with her, he does unimaginable things. Fighting and claiming right has never produced any good results. We are not oyibos and can never be. If we insist on being them, then we must be ready to also have short-lived and unhappy marriages like most of them do, and in fact that's what's playing out right before our eyes. We can't expect to have the kind of marriages our parents had/have with the attitude of rubbing shoulders with our husbands in the house. It doesn't works that way. A word is enough for the wise!
    Like · Reply · 44 mins
  • Nwadike Chigozie Well said Madam, but pls dat zombie tin shuldn't hv come in.
    Like · Reply · 54 mins
  • Kobby Nkrumah Jr. Gud one der
    Like · Reply · 57 mins
  • Ugo Uwadi I am glad no woman disagrees with this fact. ...weldone dear.
    Like · Reply · 59 mins
  • Yvonne Chigozie Amara, is not where u married a lazy type, u will eventually do everything instead he will be gisting u on top of d stress u are passing through.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 1 hr
  • Oge Mercy Okoye I think all dis depends on d way u're brought up.since i was little n up until nw i've never seen my dad cook,but if he's at d village he makes his food offcourse wen he's all alone.As u said it all boils down to understanding n submission frm d woman den u'll get ur husband doing almost evrythg for u.Ever since i had my baby my husband goes to market n i do d cooking,one day he told me his friends laugh at him bcos of dt n dey said "a man dt goes to market does nt give his wife money n stingy"l quickly told him bt u knw its nt true . So women shld nt allow civilization to spoil there happy home bt rather it shld improve u as a woman.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 1 hr
  • Jide Sanni All i have got to say is thank you Amara....Its only a wake-up call, but remember not everyone that goes to bed wake-up to see the light of the new day.No excuse to living abroad, i lived their too (Marred) as a professional. We lived under God law and principles not western and that didn't change my status as a man.
    Like · Reply · 1 hr
  • Susan Onah Pow, u just hit it on the head! U could turn this into a small book, I bet you it will become a best seller.
    Like · Reply · 1 hr · Edited
  • Austin Ikemefune Daveastin Beautifully crafted and made known to all married and intending couples to heed to and follow. For me, I can cook, so if my wife is submissive to me because she appreciates the love I have for her, I will cook and cook and cook till I have no strength in me to cook for her. Lol. Relationship is all about understanding. Thanks Madam Amara for this African philosophical piece. We Africans are created special to live in out own peculiar way, and that is the African way
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