Welcome to Ebere Samuel's Blog: Advice

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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I love my women friends but when I want to hear the truth, I ask a man.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This is only something I've become aware of over the last few years -- which means it took me a long time to come to this realization. It's not that men are more insightful when it comes to relationships, it's that they tend to be less aware of the need to be diplomatic. Part of the reason for this is that most men don't "hang out" with women in groups, where the main goal is to bolster our self-esteem and empower one another. So they don't instinctively know our culture of mutual support. For women, our gift can often be our curse.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">No, this doesn't apply to every woman (or every man). But it does apply to a lot of women (and men), at least in regard to friendships -- until much later in life, when women grow weary of being subtle and 100% supportive, or we stop traveling in packs and editing our words as carefully. That's when we're more likely to let it rip.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I'm not a scientist, but I'm pretty sure the tendency for women to want to avoid hurting someone else's feelings is part nature, part crappy experiences that make us more empathetic than the average Joe. So much so, that by the time a woman reaches her mid-twenties, there have been enough emotional blows that our diplomatic skills have become finely tuned. (Some women are flat out bitter by then, but bitter is the stuff of reality TV, not friendships.) When you toss in what happens when a woman becomes a mother, or an aunt -- how we develop a more acute awareness of the power of words -- well, any woman who is tuned-in knows it gets harder to say what you mean for fear of sounding critical, and hurting a sister's feelings. And I don't care how many mean-girl movies you've seen -- those mean girls usually grow up at some point.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It's true that focusing on the positive is a good thing -- but it's not always helpful in the long run. A woman might tell another woman that her hair looks fabulous to avoid saying everything else is a hot mess -- but her friend may show up again somewhere in her hot mess outfit and may be embarrassed when someone less kind points it out.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Of course, not everyone who is diplomatic is doing it for the other person's sake. Sometimes it's just a great way to avoid drama and conflict. And who wants to be in the middle of that? It's easier just to tell a friend she looks wonderful...even if she doesn't.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Most of the time, women want to support one another to such a degree that they will "yes" a friend into doing something brave or bold, something she may not have the nerve to do on her own -- but with a posse of women friends who have her back, she feels as if she can do anything. All that encouragement and support can be intoxicating. The trouble is, sometimes it's not really the best thing to do. Though we want to be supportive and not a Debbie-downer, it can keep friends from facing an important truth -- a truth it's better to know. Maybe a guy doesn't call back for a reason that nobody wants to admit out loud? Maybe getting fired repeatedly is not just bad luck, but something else? Maybe you shouldn't actually "go for it" because everyone but you can see that "it" is not who you are or what you excel at?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Which leads me to the question of the day: Who is the better friend, the person who tells you the truth, not because she is bitter or jealous, but because she wants the best for you? Or the person who withholds the truth to keep you from feeling badly about yourself?</span></div>
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Why Women Friends Don't Tell Each Other The Truth

I love my women friends but when I want to hear the truth, I ask a man. This is only something I've become aware of over the last f...

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<img alt="Wise Pieces of Advice from Grandparents" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1711" height="360" src="http://womanitely.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Wise-Pieces-of-Advice-from-Grandparents.jpg?62d6e5" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="500" /><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Nowadays many young people resent the pieces of advice given by their grandparents. If you open your eyes and think broader, you’ll understand that these words are real pearls of wisdom. I’m sure that Google or other search engines won’t give you all valuable and frank information, but your grandparents are mega experienced people in your life who really want to help you become happy and avoid fatal mistakes. These two precious human beings are always ready to give you everything for you to reach your goals and make your cherished dreams come true. It is necessary to pay attention to their wise words.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Unfortunately, my dear grandparents are gone, but they are always alive in my heart. When I visit their tombs, my heart fills with sentimentalism and I recollect their pearls of wisdom with a tear in my eyes. Now their sacred words have become the main principles of my life. I wish I understood these truths earlier. Check out a few wise pieces of advice from grandparents.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1. Don’t burn bridges</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This huge world is actually small and interconnected. Don’t burn bridges, no matter how tempted you might be, because you never know how many times you’ll have to cross the same river. My grandparents explained to me that I should always try to stay in good relations with people I know, because once I’ll have to cooperate with them again. Now I realize that this wonderful advice is the key to building a good reputation in society. Furthermore, it often happens that people you dislike or hate due to some failures from the past can help you more than those who seem to be your best friends.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">2. The fire of burned bridges may light your way to success</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My grandfather was a businessman and he had a bit different view on life. He believed that bad bridges need to be burned in order to get rid of negativity and enemies who keep you away from you happiness. I do agree that there’s no point in continuing a negative relationship once you’re out the door. If the person has already shown the true face, you should be sure that nothing will change for better. I can burn bridges when I feel that I’m ill-used or humbled by somebody, because I prefer to stick to my life moto, “I never sacrifice three things: my family, my heart and my dignity.” I truly believe that burned bridges will light my way to growth and happiness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">3. Keep money for rainy days</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Life is an unpredictable thing and you never know when the sun will come out again to cover you with the sunshine. When I was young I couldn’t manage my money properly. Consequently, I had quarrels with my mum. My grandparents were the only people who gave a helping hand if necessary. Moreover, they taught me to keep some money for the rainy days in spite of stable incomes. Today, I realize that it’s impossible to disregard this old truth, especially if you have a family.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">4. Laugh as much as possible</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Nowadays smiles and laughter are the best medicine from stress and pain. I find humor unique because it’s absolutely free and you cannot buy a frank and funny laughter. You can easily improve your mood and help others to smile in return. It’s surprising, but laughter is infectious, because many people cannot resist the sound of a roaring laughter. Smiles often bind people together and bring their minds and bodies into a balance. Plus, humor lightens your burdens and increases intimacy and happiness. My grandpa always taught me to use laughter and smiles as the best diplomatic trick to handle difficult situations. I want to admit that it really works.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">5. Love and enjoy your kids</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Children are the most beautiful flowers of your life. My granny always told that I should spend more time with my kids since time flies really fast. That’s why it’s better to slow down, because your kids will never be as little as they are right this moment. Moreover, children are the reflection of their parents, so you should do your best to make your child an all-rounded and happy person. Try to treat these words seriously, because in the blink of an eye, your kids will have babies of their own. Enjoy the moment, life and your wonderful kids.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">6. Crying</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My dear grandma advised me to cry when I was disappointed about something. Once I’ve tried and now I realize that crying is an essential part of my mental well-being. Crying is not the sign of your weakness, but the ability to feel and experience different emotions. It releases stress hormones and toxins from your body. Furthermore, it gives relief to your heart and soul.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">7. Do your favorite things</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My grandparents always taught me to be brave enough to follow my dreams. I support the idea that the love to do things you adore cannot be forced. It’s desirable to find things you are passionate about and develop in this direction. My grandpa wanted to be a driver, but his parents forbade and forced him to continue their business. Consequently, he was one of the most successful businessmen in the state, but once he confessed that he would have been happier to work as a driver.</span></h2>
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I hope these pearls of wisdom given by my (and maybe your) grandparents will help you somehow. Surely, every family has its own secrets and recipes on how to find happiness in this harsh world. Respect your family traditions and don’t forget about your grandparents who love you so much. What pearls of wisdom have you learned from your grandparents?</div>
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7 Wise Pieces of Advice from Grandparents

Nowadays many young people resent the pieces of advice given by their grandparents. If you open your eyes and think broader, you’ll unde...

Why Women Friends Don't Tell Each Other The Truth

7 Wise Pieces of Advice from Grandparents

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